


Beating My Heart Like A Pinata

by Yousaydoctorisaywho



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Merlin, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pining Arthur, Pining Merlin, Sexual Tension, merlin needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-23 22:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13797636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yousaydoctorisaywho/pseuds/Yousaydoctorisaywho
Summary: "Merlin rolled his eyes. “It’s not that big of a deal. All I did was go to the market and bought this good luck charm from a kind old man. Arthur probably won’t even comment on it, but I thought I would at least do that.”Gwaine went silent, a frown on his face before realization clouded over. “Wait, Merlin, did you say you bought a good luck charm?”Merlin frowned. “Yeah, why?”Gwaine clamped a hand over his mouth, his face growing red from trying not to let loose his laughter. “Merlin, you poor soul, they’re- “"In which Merlin tries to be kind and get Arthur gifts for the holidays but for each one it carries a special meaning, putting a newfound strain on their relationship. When things get out of hand, will they be able to just wrap up their problems and throw them away? Or will it possibly end everything that they've ever had?





	1. Chapter 1

New Years  
Merlin felt out of place today. Maybe it was because he didn’t sleep much, or that today was the first day of the year. Everyone was celebrating and spending time with friends and family. But Merlin, of course, was spending his New Years Day with the royal prat himself, Arthur. Merlin stood in front of his bed and racked his brain trying to decide if what he wanted to do was a wise decision. He knew people got gifts for one another one this day as a good luck charm for the upcoming year and Merlin was terrified that Arthur got him something and so if Merlin didn’t give HIM something he would like a complete arse. Letting out a small groan of annoyance, Merlin grabbed the gift he had chosen from one of the shops in the town and headed towards Arthur’s chambers. He got happier the closer he got to the room and couldn’t help but keep the smile plastered on his face as he opened Arthur’s doors.  
“Good morning, sire! Pleasant day today.” Merlin merrily shouted as he opened the curtains to let the sunlight stream in.  
Arthur, his hair a mess and an angry expression etched across his face, poked his head out from under the pillow he was hiding from and growled, “Why are you so chipper?”  
Merlin just let out a shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe today is special, or maybe I am just in a good mood.”  
Arthur rolled his eyes. “If you’re not so subtly trying to hint at the fact of the new year beginning, you are failing miserably.”  
Merlin just let out a pained chuckle, already knowing Arthur would somehow ruin the mood. “Well you got me. I just thought if it’s a new year maybe it will be a new you!”  
Merlin, instead of waiting for a response, just ripped the blanket off Arthur’s body and began picking out the outfit. Peering around the closet to see if Arthur had moved, Merlin quickly hid his gift on Arthur’s shirt before returning to the bed and waited for Arthur to stand up.  
“Come on, you lazy daisy! You shouldn’t waste today, or you’ll get bad fortune for the rest of the year. Don’t bother asking if it’s true because it’s coming from me, so, be kind to me today and it will all go by a lot faster.”  
Arthur narrowed his eyes as he stood up and prowled over to Merlin, extending his arms so the shirt could be placed on him. “Merlin, I’m not going to change how I act towards you just because of the new start of a bloody year. Just hurry up with dressing me and do your chores, maybe then YOUR day will go faster.”  
Merlin decided to just mutter, “prat” before helping Arthur into his pants. He didn’t say anything to the royal arse as he finished clothing his master and instead just waited for Arthur to comment on his gift. Except he didn’t, the prince simply looked in the mirror for a split second before marching out the door and leaving Merlin behind who just stood there awkwardly. Well, Arthur will notice his good charm sooner or later and the only thing he could do now would be to just do his chores before joining him on the training field. Nearly an hour or so passed, before Merlin, with a tad help of magic, got all his chores done and decided to race over to the practice field early before Arthur so he could catch up with the knights. Merlin got there quite quickly and instantly he saw Gwaine because the kind and hilarious knight shouted his name upon seeing him.  
“Merlin! Looking fresh today, looking happy. What did you do the royal pain today?” Gwaine said, looping an arm around Merlin’s shoulders and guiding him over to the tent where all the other knights were waiting.  
“I didn’t do anything mean, yet. Instead I thought I would start this new year with something, dare I say it, good.” Merlin said, looking at his hands in fake interest.  
“What?” Percival interrupted, snorting out a laugh. “You? Doing something nice for Arthur? Especially in the morning when he is especially an arse?”  
Merlin rolled his eyes. “It’s not that big of a deal. All I did was go to the market and bought this good luck charm from a kind old man. Arthur probably won’t even comment on it, but I thought I would at least do that.”  
Gwaine went silent, a frown on his face before realization clouded over. “Wait, Merlin, did you say you bought a good luck charm?”  
Merlin frowned. “Yeah, why?”  
Gwaine clamped a hand over his mouth, his face growing red from trying not to let loose his laughter. “Merlin, you poor soul, they’re- “  
“What’s going on here?” A voice demanded from the entrance.  
The knights went silent as they stared at Arthur, standing in all his glory with Merlin’s ‘good luck charm’ pinned to the center of his shirt. Merlin looked at the knights who all were starting to understand the reality of the situation. Slowly Merlin turned back to Arthur right when a small snort from Gwaine erupted from his mouth, causing all the other knights to follow suit. Arthur cocked an eyebrow as he stared at his men.  
“What? What’s so funny- Merlin what did you do?” Arthur growled out.  
“I-I didn’t do anything! I just told them about the small gift I gave you and they all lost it!” Merlin muttered.  
Arthur frowned. “Gift...? What- “  
Arthur stopped midsentence and saw a mirror tucked in the corner. Moving between all the hysterical knights, Arthur stared at the mirror and let out a yell of anger.  
“MERLIN!”  
Merlin snapped his neck in response to Arthur whose face was bright red in embarrassment.  
“What in the HELL did you do?! Was I wearing this charm the entire day?!” Arthur shouted, marching forward and gripping Merlin roughly by the shoulders.  
“Yes! I went to the market and the man said whoever I would give this to would receive good luck from me.” Merlin shouted back, a little hurt that Arthur was acting so negatively.  
“You absolute dolt! Merlin, this is a good luck charm… for virtue.” Arthur growled out.  
Merlin shook his head in confusion. “I don’t understand- “  
“Merlin by you giving me this you asked me, essentially to bed you.” Arthur said, his face growing even redder.  
Realizing the reason behind the red rose charm that was pinned to Arthur’s chest, caused Merlin to grow red as well as he clamped a hand over his mouth.  
Behind them, Gwaine let out a howl of laughter. “I-it’s about bloody time! Who knew a-a charm for virtue would have Arthur on his knees! HAHAHAA!”  
Valentine’s Day  
It took a couple days, more so weeks, before Arthur would actually make eye contact with Merlin. After the incident at the training field, Arthur had left Merlin standing with the knights as he walked away briskly, his shoulders tense and face red. Merlin himself had to get a lot of innuendos from the fellow knights as the days went by, so much that every time he saw them, Gwaine would excuse himself for letting out a small snort of laughter. Thankfully the first months was gone, and February appeared. However today was a different day because it was the day of celebration… and love. The Feast of Saint Valentine was celebrated in the kingdom and usually Camelot had a festival in the court filled with fine wine, chocolates, fruit, and eventually; desire. Merlin had dreaded the day to come due to the fact that he would be having to be around Arthur for a majority of the night. He knew deep down it would go fine but there was a part of him that knew it would be awkward. For once in his life, Merlin wanted more chores to do so he would have an excuse to miss the festival. But by the time evening set in, Merlin found himself in Arthur’s chambers, laying out his formal attire while Arthur groaned on the bed.  
“I don’t understand why my father insists on an idiotic celebration such as this.” Arthur mumbled into his pillow.  
Merlin smiled softly at that as he unbuttoned the formal shirt for Arthur. “I think it’s quite an adorable celebration, although for once in my life I have to side with you; I don’t understand why you insist on me going to it.”  
Arthur rolled over, so he could glare at his manservant. “It’s simple; if I have to watch people snogging each other with chocolate on their faces, then so do you.”  
For some unknown reason, Merlin’s face got red as he imagined quite an interesting scene involving him, melting chocolate, and Arth-  
“Arthur?’ A voice called from outside the door.  
Merlin walked briskly over, opening the door to reveal Gwaine in a stylish royal dress suit. Allowing his eyes to glaze over Gwaine, Merlin eventually let the door swing open as the knight walked past Merlin.  
“Why aren’t you dressed yet? The feast starts soon, and I want to get my first pick, if you get what I am saying.” Gwaine said, waggling his eyebrows at Merlin who just chuckled and began to put Arthur’s shirt on.  
“Gwaine everyone within Camelot understand what you mean. I’ll be down soon if Merlin could hurry up.” Arthur said, beginning to button up his shirt.  
Gwaine nodded and sent a wink in Merlin’s direction before exiting the chambers. The master and servant were ready quite soon as they entered into the ballroom, nobles and servants alike, standing and talking amongst one another. Merlin let Arthur go sit at the royal head of the table as Merlin went and stood against the wall. After an opening message from Uther, talking about the battle, love, and everything relating to it, the festival began. Merlin went over and filled the prince’s cup, leaning forward so he was right next to his ear.  
“Do you need anything else, sire?” Merlin whispered.  
Arthur shivered but covered it well by just shaking his head causing Merlin to retract. He watched all the other servants tend to their masters, but one thing he noticed was that they kept giving these flowers to them, causing the knights to smile and talk to them. Maybe that was a tradition he was missing out on. There was a part of him that knew it would go horribly wrong but if it got Arthur’s mind off the whole new year incident, maybe he would be forgiven. Walking over to one of the female servants, he noticed his friend Anna picking out a white rose.  
“Hey Anna, you mind handing me one of those?” Merlin asked.  
Anna smiled at Merlin as she handed him the rose. “Merlin I never took you for a… white rose man. Who is it for if you don’t mind me asking.”  
“It’s for Arthur. I’m seeing all of you handing them to your masters, so I decided to do it as well.” Merlin said nonchalantly.  
Anna’s eyes widened, and a light blush grew on her face. “O-oh I wasn’t- I wasn’t aware that you and Arthur… you know, never mind. I think he will find it lovely.”  
Merlin smiled confidently as he almost marched over to Arthur’s chair. The prince was in a conversation with another knight, so Merlin patiently waited until the knight wandered off before tapping Arthur’s shoulder. The prince turned around, a smile faintly on his face before he noticed Merlin.  
“Uh, here, Arthur. I thought- I noticed the others were- just, take it.” Merlin finally muttered out, quickly handing the rose to Arthur.  
The prince remained silent for a minute, the smile fading and instead was staring at Merlin with his mouth slightly agape in shock. “What? Merlin- you idiot. You can’t hand me- “Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose at this point, “Merlin that rose you are handing me is a white rose, do you know what they stand for?”  
Merlin shook his head hesitantly before Arthur interrupted him, “It is a trademark for true love you buffoon. Just- leave the rose and go stand over there for a little bit. I can’t have you near me right now.”  
Merlin’s face flushed as he mentally kicked himself before slightly bowing and nearly running to the farthest side of the wall. He felt quite awkward standing by the window, holding a vase of ale, when suddenly, a noble man approached him. He was dressed in navy blue with a white collar and black tights. He was well groomed with a mustache and jet-black hair that went down to his shoulders  
“You, boy, what’s your name?” The nobleman said, his voice suave.  
Merlin cleared his throat and straightened up. “Merlin, sire.”  
The nobleman smiled softly before suddenly stroking a hand down Merlin’s face. “Merlin you are quite easily the most beautiful servant in the room.”  
“Um, thank you? But I ought to go refill Prince Arthur’s- “  
“He can wait,” the nobleman interrupted, ghosting a hand over Merlin’s shaking one (it was shaking because Merlin was very close to lighting the man’s hand on fire) “But for now, won’t you celebrate with me?”  
“I said I’m alright, thank you- “Merlin attempted as he tried to walk away but the noble kept his hand on his shoulder.  
“I don’t think you are. I saw you walking around the kingdom with your face red, you seem like you would be a good toy, especially for a visiting noble.” He said creepily, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.  
“I believe Merlin said he was alright, Sir Caden. So kindly remove your arms from him before I do.” A low growl interrupted.  
Both Merlin and Caden turned to see Arthur, his eyes filled with rage and fists clenched at his side.  
“Oh, my liege I am terribly sorry. I was not aware he was… yours.” Sir Caden said, backing away from Merlin slowly as Arthur put himself in front of his servant protectively.  
“He is mine, now go enjoy the festivities while you still can.” Arthur spoke, much calmer now that he was a decent distance away.  
Sir Caden bowed quickly before scampering away. Arthur swiftly turned to Merlin, his gloved hand cupping his face.  
“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Arthur asked softly.  
Merlin shook his head. “No, he just got a bit too touchy for my liking.”  
Arthur nodded, his thumb gently caressing his cheekbone before he finally pulled his hand away. “Alright, just stay in my sight.”  
Merlin arched his eyebrows at that but nonetheless stayed silent as Arthur went back to his seat. Knowing he would never admit this because he didn’t want to be treated like property, Merlin felt something stir within him at that simple action.  
Summer Celebration  
Months went by with no uncomfortable actions between the two men, but their behavior had changed ever since Sir Caden. Arthur and Merlin seemingly fell into a comfortable routine in which Merlin would do his chores and as a ‘reward’ so to speak, the two would then go for a walk around the castle talking about different stuff. It got to the summer months and there was always a midsummer celebration in which a banquet was held outside with dancing, food, and a lot of other activities revolving around the summer activities. That day had arrived fairly quickly, and Merlin was honestly excited. He didn’t wait for Arthur and instead headed outside to see how it was coming about. There were flowers everywhere, food on small tables and people milling around.  
“Merlin!” A voice called out.  
Turning around, Merlin saw a little boy running towards him. “Gadriel! How are you?”  
Merlin had managed to make quite a large group of friends (from ages 4 to 8) and Gadriel was one considering the young boy had fallen into a stream and Merlin dove after him and saved him from drowning.  
“I’m quite well! My other friends are here too, and we wanted to play with you!” Gadriel said, grabbing Merlin’s hand and started to walk towards the center of the festival.  
“Gadriel I should wait for- “  
Merlin again was cut off by being thrust into a large dance in which everyone grabbed each other’s hands and went around in a large circle around a flower pole (I know it’s Swedish but for the sake of adorableness it is also in this time period too). The circle began to get faster and Merlin was aware of Gadriel’s joyous laughter. It finally stopped and as Merlin let go of people’s hands, the room was still spinning, and he couldn’t stop himself from falling backwards. But instead of falling down on the ground, he fell into someone’s strong arms.  
“Merlin please do watch how much you drink. I don’t want to be carrying your body back to your room.” Arthur’s voice spoke behind him, a smirk evident in his tone.  
Merlin pulled himself up and turned to see Arthur’s smile. “Well don’t worry sire, unlike you I manage to control my liquor, you on the other hand become a very grabby and annoying drunk.”  
Arthur smiled at the playful banter. “I have never been drunk in my life, Merlin.”  
Merlin took a step closer, so they were almost chest to chest. “Really? Because if I recall, I remember you grabbing at my shirt and claiming, ‘it’s too hot with you here, take off your shirt.’”  
Arthur’s smile faded slightly. “No, I didn’t.”  
Merlin smiled cheekily, poking him on the nose. “Yes, you did.”  
The two men stopped talking and instead stared at each other with fascination before a small hand grabbed both of their hands.  
“Merlin! You said you would play come on. You can bring your boyfriend too!”  
Merlin’s face flushed. “Gadriel! One, where did you learn of that term? And two, you know this is prince Arthur, right?”  
Gadriel stopped for a minute staring at Arthur’s face. “OH, no I didn’t. I thought he would look different.”  
The look on Arthur’s face was so priceless that Merlin let out a snort of laughter, causing Arthur to smack the back of his head. The day continued and at one-point Merlin was wearing a flower crown to which Arthur made fun of him for and so Merlin made one for him and forced him to wear it. By the time evening came by and the kids that they had been spending time with left, Merlin and Arthur decided to go on a stroll. They were wandering in the woods silently, aware of each other’s presence but not making a sound. However, they soon came to a clearing with a small pond. Merlin smiled and sped up, taking off his shoes as he walked so he could soak his feet. Sighing contently, he looked up at Arthur who had a strange expression on his face and waved him over. Sitting down next to his manservant, he too let his feet dangle into the water.  
Merlin turned towards the prince with a playful smirk. “Your crown is crooked.”  
Arthur smirked and poked Merlin in the head. “So is yours, you idiot.”  
Merlin smiled softly as he turned to look at the water. “Is it bad that this is probably my favorite festival yet?”  
Arthur was silent for a moment, becoming quite interested in the grass he was sitting on. “Oh? So, the others weren’t fun?”  
Merlin shrugged, plucking a stone and throwing it into the pond. “It’s not that, it’s just you and I get some time alone and I was able to play with the kids. It felt less… I don’t know, scripted.”  
“Merlin whenever you talk like that you sound- “  
“Wise?” Merlin interrupted, a smirk playing at his lips as he turned to Arthur.  
Arthur turned to Merlin with a chuckle. “Not exactly the word I would use.”  
“Oh really? Then what word would you use?” Merlin said, leaning forward slightly.  
Arthur noticed this but said nothing as he also moved closer. “I was going to say stupid and…sweet.”  
Merlin pulled back a little, a look of fake horror etched across his face. “Sweet? Arthur did you knock your head too hard? How many fingers am I holding up?”  
“Don’t be annoying and ruin the moment, Merlin, I was trying to compliment you but even you can manage to make it something that it isn’t.” Arthur said with a pout, pulling back and leaning his head back against a tree behind him.  
Merlin said nothing and instead moved closer. “Arthur, can I ask a question?”  
“Hm?” Arthur responded.  
“When I gave you those gifts on the past two holidays,” Merlin began, keeping eye contact with Arthur, “You responded so negatively but the instance somebody showed interest in me, you stopped it. I need to know what that was about.”  
Arthur cleared his throat and just stared off into the pond. “It was nothing. I just saw you were uncomfortable, so I put a stop to it.”  
Merlin frowned. “Arthur, I know you’re not that bright but please don’t be stupid and tell me what is obviously happening.”  
Arthur remained silent, biting his lip. “I can’t.”  
Merlin stood up suddenly, anger washing over him. “Do you mean you can’t or you won’t? Arthur it’s obvious that this isn’t normal- “  
“So, then you should obviously understand that I can’t.” Arthur snapped, standing up as well so they were level.  
Merlin hesitantly took a step forward. “Not in public, no, but you can at least tell me, so I don’t feel like an absolute dollophead.”  
Arthur shook his head, staring at the man in front of him. “Merlin you know I can’t say anything, for the sake of the kingdom and myself.”  
Bad choice of words on Arthur’s part. Merlin’s expression shifted rapidly to pained anger.  
“You’re selfish, you know that?” Merlin spoke softly though his voice carried a lot of heat.  
“You’re jumping to conclusions; do you know that?” Arthur retorted.  
Merlin gently took Arthur’s hand in his. “No, I’m not, Arthur. It’s been clear since the day we met that something between us isn’t a normal relationship.”  
Arthur pulled back abruptly at that. “Exactly! It’s not normal! So just let it go and can’t we just continue what we always do?”  
“I don’t think we can, Arthur. Unless you say what you obviously know.” Merlin said softly, the reality of the situation becoming clearer.  
Arthur suddenly took a step closer, his eyes narrowed, and face contorted into pain. “What do you want me to say, Merlin? Do you want me to say how I know that there is tension between us? That sometimes we linger with each other more than what is appropriate? That we get jealous of each other? That we obviously love one another but that can’t happen?”  
Merlin stood his ground this time, staring at the prince in front of him. “There, there it is Arthur. The truth. It wasn’t that hard, and you know I feel the same so why can’t you just- “  
“it’s because I love you that we can’t happen. Even if we tried to hide our relationship people would find out, my father would most likely kill you or send you away and I can’t bear to lose you.” Arthur said, gently caressing Merlin’s face.  
“You’re going to lose me if you just let us continue like nothing happened.” Merlin said, his throat closing up slightly.  
“Merlin…” Arthur began but was cut off by Merlin moving forward and pressing their lips together.  
They moved together, the kiss soft and languid but slowly turning into heated as Arthur felt himself being pressed against the tree he had been leaning against. He shifted so his hand was still on merlin’s cheek. Deep down, even as Merlin’s lips began to leave a trail on his jaw and neck, Arthur knew it was now or never.  
Arthur softly pushed him away. “No, Merlin… I’m sorry.”  
The look on Merlin’s face as he moved away and quickly left the pond would be stuck on Arthur’s mind for a long time.  



	2. Chapter 2

A Month After the incident 

 

Ever since the scene made at the pond, the two boys were treating each other as though they were stepping around broken glass. Merlin would come in the morning, not saying good morning but instead just silently got the food together, changed the prince, muttered out “will that be all, sire,” and then leave to do the other chores; and it was killing them both. Arthur just watched Merlin do these simple actions and would get… angry. He knew that their fight was somewhat serious, but he figured if he just fooled around with Merlin and tease him like always, maybe they would be fine. Arthur learned quickly that wasn’t the case because when he did try to tease Merlin, he was snapped at and was asked if he could continue with his chores. In Merlin’s mind he knew Arthur was trying to make amends but the anger of why Arthur wanted to not risk it overpowered that. The prince had said he wanted to protect his reputation and all Merlin wondered was why was Arthur ashamed of him. He didn’t want to ask the prince because he didn’t want to know, he didn’t want to be hurt anymore. But, if they kept treating one another like this, sooner or later they would drift apart to the point where they would be forced to leave each other. So instead of waiting for that to happen, he took it into his own hands. He was going to make Arthur WANT him back and make sure he never leaves. Sure, it would be challenging, but maybe it’ll happen with a little bit of… magic.

One particular week, Merlin for the first time in quite a while, entered Arthur’s chambers and shouted, “GOOD MORNING!”

Completely taken by surprise, Arthur awoke quickly and sat up in fear before noticing Merlin with a wide grin. “Merlin? What- why did you…?”

“I’m just waking you up, sire. You need to be quite alert during the day so why not start now with alertness?” Merlin said, almost skipping but that might make it too obvious.

Silence fell over Arthur as he just gaped at Merlin as if he had grown another head. “Merlin did you drink this morning? Get hit on the head? Hypnotized by a warlock?”

Merlin opened the drapes, letting the sunlight stream in as he walked over to the edge of Arthur’s bed. “None of the above, sadly. I just realized that today is a full moon!”

Arthur flicked his eyes back and forth as if one of the knights would jump out and scream, “Just kidding! Merlin isn’t acting insane, it’s just a joke!” But Arthur’s overactive imagination decided today he would let him suffer.   
“I don’t see why that would mean anythin- “

“Here!” Merlin interrupted, shoving his breakfast tray onto his lap.

“What...?” Arthur said, slightly speechless at the overflowing tray that was filled with fruit, meat, cheese, and bread with a goblet gently placed in the center. “Merlin what is this? Tell me your joking.”

Merlin smirked as he leaned forward, resting his hand on the bed so he could lean forward next to Arthur’s ear, and whispered. “It’s a gift.”

Arthur froze in place as he felt his face burn and knew that soon blood would be entering his lower regions. But before he could turn to Merlin, he almost screamed in agony at the fact that Merlin was no longer standing there but was instead picking out his clothes for the morning.

The day continued on and Arthur was severely cautious and watched Merlin’s movements like a hawk. He began to notice, now, that for the past month, Merlin would walk quickly, his shoulders tense and face completely indifferent to the world. He basically looked like a very angry dwarf chasing after someone who stole his gold. But now, Merlin was walking with a casual stroll, his face relaxed and would even SMILE at Arthur. Yet what Arthur noticed especially, was that every time he leaned down to do a chore or pick something up, the servant went slowly down, his arse in the air and tauntingly swaying slightly as he leaned forward; and it was driving Arthur insane. Now, Arthur was helping the knight and running a drill in which, the knights would attack one another but must block when one strikes. He was teaching them reflex so it required a lot of attention, at least, it used to but now Merlin entered the field and snuck up behind Arthur before gently slapping his arse.

Jumping and almost letting out a squeal, Arthur turned and grabbed the assailant’s hand before relaxing and seeing it was Merlin. “Merlin!”

Merlin blinked his eyes innocently up at Arthur. “Yes, sire?”

Arthur let out a groan of annoyance as he grabbed Merlin’s upper arm and pulled him off the side. “Merlin, we talked about this.”

“Yes, you’re right, we did. Your point?” Merlin said, his legs threatening to give out as he tried to keep his strength.

“We agreed that this,” Arthur stated, waving his hand between both of them, “can’t happen.”

“The thing is, Arthur,” Merlin started, poking him in the chest, “is that you agreed to it. I did not. So, unless you want to fire me or send me away, I’m not going to until you realize that sometimes love wins.”

Desperate for Merlin to stop tormenting him, Arthur stuttered out, “Who ever said it’s love?”

Merlin, tired of arguing just gave a sad smile. “You did when you kissed me back.”

Turning on his heel, Merlin headed back towards the knights as they all stopped for a minute and shouted out a joyous, “Merlin!” Arthur watched in pure astonishment as he pretended like he didn’t just trap Arthur in a theoretical corner. Shaking his head to himself, he walked back and whistled with his fingers.

“Group up!” Arthur shouted, the knights stopping immediately and walking over to form a circle around Arthur, Merlin amidst them. “Alright men, for this exercise pair up and I want to see one of you with a sword and the other without one and how you can protect and fight without a weapon. This is close up combat and if you get a scratch walk it off.”

Gwaine, with a snicker, raised his hand sarcastically. “Uh, Princess, we have an odd number today so could I fight Merlin?”

“No- “

“Yes.”

Arthur flashed his eyes at Merlin who had an indifferent expression as he stood next to Gwaine.

“I can take Gwaine on, he’s pretty easy to beat.” Merlin snickered as Gwaine nudged him.

Locking his jaw Arthur just rolled his eyes and grunted out a fine as he told the rest of the them to go and practice. Merlin and Gwaine went near the center and Gwaine unsheathed his sword.

“So, Merlin, how’ve you been?” Gwaine asked, twirling his sword.

“Fine.” Merlin said abruptly but flashed a small smile to make Gwaine believe him; it didn’t work.

“Listen,” Gwaine began, “I care about you, a lot, I would die for you and have sworn to protect you. But Merlin, if you don’t tell me what’s going on in that crazy head of yours, I can’t protect you… Gods being professional is so boring I need to crack a joke, or I will die.”

Merlin smiled at his friend. “Thanks, Gwaine, it’s mainly problems involving the royal arse himself.”

Gwaine nodded in sympathy. “Arthur can be quite a pain to anyone if you’re around him long enough. What did he do?”

“Hey!” Arthur shouted. “Less talking, more fighting.”

Gwaine gave a mock salute before slashing at Merlin who jumped in fear and scrambled to pick up his sword. “Gwaine give me a warning! But, anyways, Arthur… he doesn’t care about people’s emotions to the say the least and would rather protect himself than anyone else.”

Gwaine whistled in shock. “So, Arthur played with your heart then.”

Merlin just nodded as he gave a less enthusiastic jab towards Gwaine who moved quickly. Gwaine frowned and suddenly a thought popped into his head.

“You know, surprisingly, Arthur has done this before, to Percival.” Gwaine said, doing a double slash at Merlin.

“What?! Percival? So, what? We talk to him and say, ‘hey Percival, sorry that Arthur played you, but I want Arthur to not play me and we need your help’? I can’t do that, Gwaine, we got to do something else that would make him want… me.” Merlin said, awkwardly trying to stab Gwaine in the side.

“Then, why don’t we make him jealous.” Gwaine said, a mischievous smile growing on his face. 

Merlin grew slightly red. “Arthur does NOT get jealous- “

“Yes, he most certainly does. When Percival had issues with Arthur, Leon pretended to be madly in love with him and Arthur got so mad, that he tied him to a horse and poked the horse with a burning piece of metal so that it ran and dragged him behind. Leon won’t involve himself with our pranks anymore because of it.”

Merlin just shook his head, his insecurities clouding over anything else. “But Percival is a knight, he has a meaning in Arthur’s life, I’m just his servant.”

“Bullshit Merlin. All of us know that you are more than a servant, you’re part of the knight family. So, therefore, I will help you make Arthur jealous.” Gwaine finished with a proud smirk and jab at Merlin’s chest.

Merlin froze, ignoring the sword. “What? Gwaine if what you say is true about Arthur’s jealousy- “

Gwaine cut him short by moving swiftly and looped an arm around Merlin’s unsuspecting waist. “Then let him be jealous.”

Their moment was cut short by a looming shadow next to them. The two men turned to see Arthur, a furious flame in his eyes.   
“What are you two doing? Dancing? This is fighting and if neither of you can be serious, you can’t be partners.” Arthur growled.

Merlin wiggled out of Gwaine’s arms and smiled at the knight. “Thank you, Gwaine, it was lovely sparring with you.”

“If you come to my room later, maybe we can do a bit of our own sparring.” Gwaine said suggestively, both ignoring Arthur’s expression turning into one of pure murder.

“NO.” Arthur shouted, before clearing his throat to calm down. “I mean, Merlin will probably be busy with his chores- “

“Actually, sire, I finished them all for today. But if you don’t mind, I do have some errands for Gaius. I will see both of you later.” Merlin finished his sentence by letting out a brave wink at Gwaine and a courteous nod towards Arthur who seemed to reel back at the professional movement.

Later on in the day, Merlin knew he had completed all of his chores and didn’t bother checking with Arthur because he knew the royal arse would come up with some dumb nonexistent chore for him to do just so he couldn’t see Gwaine. But, the fact of the matter, was that Merlin wasn’t going to just fall to his knees after Arthur shows jealousy once, oh no, he was going to make him work for it. So, making his way down the corridor, he saw Gwaine’s door open slightly, meaning Merlin could enter. As soon as his feet hit the entrance point, Gwaine’s laughter rang out.  
“Merlin! You made it!” Gwaine shouted, getting out of his bed and running over to the servant.

“Gwaine I wouldn’t ditch you, you should know this.” Merlin said with an amused chuckle.

Gwaine smiled warmly before turning serious and pulling him into a hug before whispering. “I just saw Arthur walk past the room, staring at us so I’m hugging you. Now laugh at my joke and be… physically flirty.”

“Physically flirty? Gwaine, I can barely be flirty in general how am I supposed to- “

“I hear him coming, just do something.”  
Merlin heard the footsteps and very quickly let go of the hug and caressed Gwaine’s face, before laughing. “Gwaine! You’re too funny, but don’t make those kinds of jokes… they embarrass me.”

Gwaine’s smile turned dirty as he held Merlin’s chin his hand. “Oh Merlin, I love seeing you all red, it makes you look dainty and ripe for the picking.”

Merlin didn’t have to fake a blush at that. “Well thankfully you’re the only man for me right now, so I guess I am free- “

Merlin was cut short by sound of a flower vase being thrown in the hallway. Merlin turned bright red and turned to go look outside but Gwaine stopped him, grabbing his arm.  
“Don’t go look, you’ll give in too easily.” Gwaine whispered.

“I know, but, I don’t want Arthur hating me… maybe I should go and I’ll just see you tomorrow.” Merlin said, beginning to leave but again Gwaine stopped him.

“Wait, I have an idea so that Arthur would at least get the hint that something happened tonight… Merlin, can I give you a hickey?” Gwaine said, his voice dropping an octave at the second sentence.

“What?!” Merlin squeaked.

Gwaine smiled. “A hickey, you know, a red mark on your skin. Plus, it’ll feel good.”

Merlin bit his lip, knowing he would regret it. “I guess…”

Gwaine smiled and moved closer, his breath becoming heavier as it ghosted over Merlin’s neck. “May I remove your scarf?”

Merlin nodded weakly, already becoming hot. Gwaine smiled as his cold fingers moved across his neck, unraveling the scarf and pulling it up and over Merlin’s head. Merlin sighed as he shut his eyes, Gwaine’s breath closer now.

“Merlin?” Gwaine asked, his eyes half lidded and lips about to touch. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”

Merlin just nodded as Gwaine’s lips attached themselves to Merlin’s now exposed neck. It was shy at first, hesitant kisses peppering across his neck. But then, Gwaine bit down, eliciting a groan from Merlin as he suddenly grabbed Gwaine’s clothes. Gwaine sucked hard, sending warmth and tingling down Merlin’s body. Gwaine let go and tenderly licked the area before pulling back and looking at Merlin. Merlin controlled his breathing as he stared at Gwaine. They locked eyes and Merlin knew that if he didn’t leave now, then something was going to happen… spoiler alert, Merlin didn’t leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! Yeah, a little bit of Merlin/Gwaine going on here ;) what do you think? Nice twist? Also, I'm sorry for the long wait, I had no power for 4 days due to a heavy storm but I am back so hey there friends. But yes! If you want more, review and all that jazz and tell me what you think of the plot twist ;)  
> Now side note, merlin doesn't quite know what to do because he wants Arthur but if the prince is going to be stubborn, merlin doesn't know if he wants to wait for something that may not happen....  
> ALSO ALSO! I'm trying to fix how the text looks when I post it so bare with me as I figure it out :0


	3. Chapter 3

In the Morning  
Merlin woke up with a weight partially on him and an ache in his arse. Things began to add up and he held back a groan. He should’ve left, he wanted to, but he just couldn’t. They had sex. They both knew what was happening and they both agreed to it, even if it wasn’t their intentions. Merlin sat up, careful to move Gwaine’s arm off his side because they ended up cuddling afterwards, too scared to mention what happened. Merlin rubbed his eyes and saw it was morning… wait… morning… ARTHUR. Hissing out a, “shit”, Merlin quickly pulled his pants and shirt on, looking in the mirror and almost screaming at how much his body screamed, ‘I had sex.’ Quickly running over and kissing Gwaine’s forehead goodbye, Gwaine grunting in response with a, ‘talk to you later,’ Merlin sprinted out the door and ran to Arthur’s chambers. He got there and gingerly opened the door. What he saw next made him want to vomit. There was Arthur, clean and in his morning clothes, eating a breakfast while staring out the window.

“Sire, I can explain- “

“No need,” Arthur grumbled. “I already know.”

Merlin swallowed guiltily. “Arthur…”

“You know I love you,” Arthur began, his throat tightening, “and yet you dangle yourself in front of me as if you know that I am that selfish.”

Merlin paused. “Selfish…?”

“Yes Merlin,” Arthur shouted. “Selfish. Because I can’t have you and so I treat you like dirt so that you would just go away and find somebody else, which you easily have done, but every fiber in my body is wanting me to punch anybody who even looks at you and you just- you- “ Arthur takes a minute, his breathing labored and his chest tight. “But you are going about it perfectly fine, like you forgot I exist. Which is fine. Whatever. Why do I care? You’re happy with Gwaine so go be happy with him. I don’t need you today.”

Merlin had been silent, waiting for Arthur to leap up and pull them together in a bruising kiss… but he didn’t. “Arthur, wait I need to explain- “

“Explain what?” Arthur hissed, standing now, “That you two shagged? Like it isn’t obvious from the bruises on your neck and the limp in your walk. I get it, Merlin, so quit with the excuses and just leave me alone.”

“So that’s it, huh?” Merlin nearly yells, catching Arthur off guard. “You’re allowed to tell me that the kingdom is more important and that I would embarrass you if we were together- “

“I never said that- “

“But you meant it, Arthur.” Merlin nearly pleaded, tears pricking his eyes. “And that was enough for me to realize that I know you want me and that we should be together. So, I wanted to, I needed to show you that something can happen if you just try. I didn’t mean to get with Gwaine, I wanted to make you jealous, so you could understand how you really felt- “

“I KNOW HOW I FEEL, MERLIN.” Arthur shouted, rapidly grabbing Merlin’s shoulders. “And that’s the problem. I can’t do anything about this.”

“But you can try.” Merlin whispered, tears now evident in his eyes.

Leaning forward, Merlin tried to connect their lips, but Arthur bowed his head, their foreheads touching. 

“But I can’t.”

This time, Merlin wasn’t the one to run away, this time, it was Arthur. 

Halloween (All Saints Day) 

 

They were back to square one. Arthur was awkward and skittish around Merlin while Merlin was busy ignoring him and trying to ease the pain with Gwaine. They didn’t have sex again, but Merlin would just complain to Gwaine about everything going on. Yet, after laying in bed with Gwaine passed out next to him that one night, Merlin couldn’t help but feel like he had… cheated. Yes, Arthur and he weren’t together and had only shared one heated kiss, but the emotions they had for one another were still there. Now that another festival was coming up, Merlin knew what he had to do. He woke up the morning of, quite early, and headed down to Gwaine’s room. His heartbeat elevated slightly at the feeling of being in the same room as him but nonetheless walked over and gently caressed Gwaine’s back.

“Gwaine?” Merlin whispered.

No response.

“Gwaine.” Merlin hissed.

Still, no response.

“GWAINE.” Merlin shouted.

That woke him up. Gwaine opened his eyes and looked over at Merlin who was semi-glaring at him. “Merlin?”

“Yes Gwaine, it’s me. Listen, I have a plan that might actually work tonight but only if you really play the role I need you to play.” Merlin insisted.

Gwaine woke up quicker at that and smiled. “Oh? Merlin, I didn’t know you were into morning se- “

“Gwaine. No. This time, it’s actually a plan. Now listen carefully…”

After explaining the plan three times (Gwaine kept thinking it was all foreplay so they kept getting distracted) Merlin sprinted up to Arthur’s chambers and when he opened the door, he was happy to see Arthur still sleeping.

“Good morning, Arthur. Today is the All Saints Day banquet and your father has made it quite clear to everyone that it is a masquerade, so I stopped at a little shop and bought you one.” Merlin said, standing next to Arthur’s bed.

Arthur rolled over, so he was facing Merlin and arched an eyebrow. “Oh? That’s interesting… thank you… will you be going?”

Merlin nodded, looking at his hands. “Yes, but, I would want to go with someone instead of showing up alone. And since it’s a masquerade, anybody could go with me because they wouldn’t be recognized.” 

Arthur scanned the servant’s face carefully. “You have Gwaine, don’t you?”

Merlin noticed the venom in Arthur’s tone when he said Gwaine’s name but said nothing. “Well, yes, but, we are on a… break.”

Arthur straightened up at that. “He didn’t hurt you… did he?”

“Arthur, no, he was… nice. But can we please let that go?” Merlin answered, slight hesitation in his voice.

Arthur’s expression became murderous. “Fine. I’ll let it go, for now, but I’ll ask you later and you will answer me. Regardless, you say you have nobody to go with?”

Merlin shook his head, biting his lip subconsciously. “No…”

Arthur cleared his throat as he swung his legs over the side of his bed. “Then that settles it, I’ll be your escort.”

“But everybody will think- “

“Let them think,” Arthur interrupted walking over to Merlin slowly. “If anything, they will just think that it’s a master and servant going together.”

Merlin couldn’t help but not hide his smile at that.   
Later on in the day, it was getting closer to the time Merlin was supposed to go to the banquet, but he didn’t have anything to wear except his semi-fancy servant clothes. Letting out an annoyed sigh, he let his self-consciousness win, and put on the clothes and walk out of his room.

“Merlin?” Gaius’ voice rang out.

“Yes?” Merlin said as he stopped in the doorway to see Gaius walking towards him.

“Where are you off to?” Gaius inquired, staring at the outfit Merlin had chosen.

“Arthur wants me to go to the festival, so, I am.” Merlin answered, desperate to leave.

“I see,” Gaius said, his eyebrows scrunched together, “Are both of you going, together?”

“Yes, of course. I’m his servant who else would go with him?”

“Another knight, perhaps, but not a servant. Regardless, tonight is very special as many beautiful women will be attending, mainly in hopes that they will get with the prince, so Arthur is on the look for someone suitable for him… I trust you will help him in that?” Gaius pondered, staring at Merlin seriously. 

“Of course, Gaius. Arthur deserves someone special.” Merlin responded, but Merlin hoped that he would be that someone.

Merlin left after the conversation, putting his mask on and wandering the hallways before deciding enough was enough and he had to make it to the festival. It hadn’t started yet, so he was making good timing when he suddenly bumped into Gwen around the corner.

“Merlin?” Gwen spoke, smiling at her friend. 

“Hi, Gwen. How are you?” Merlin said, giving her a quick hug.

“I’m doing well… why are you dressed like that?” Gwen said, smirking at Merlin’s choice of clothing.

“Is it really that bad?” Merlin whined.

Gwen simply laughed and held out a hand to the servant. “Come, let’s get you dressed up more.”

Gwen ended up taking them to Arthur’s chambers and much to Merlin’s panicked rambling of how ‘we shouldn’t be here’ and ‘Arthur will notice and be upset’ as well as ‘Gwen, I am not wearing his trousers’ Gwen had finally managed to put him into a very professional looking outfit. He looked like a lower-class prince, with black tights, a slightly tighter white shirt and a belt. Merlin stared at himself in the mirror and even he could appreciate Gwen’s handy work. Just when he was about to turn around, Gwen stopped him and put something over his eyes. He could see through the two eye holes and turned to look in the mirror and see a black mask with jewels encrusted around the edges. 

“Gwen… I can’t thank you enough. Thank you.” Merlin whispered, still staring at his reflection.

Gwen smiled fondly, “I want you to look good, Arthur told me that you were going together.”

Merlin blushed slightly. “Yeah, we both didn’t have anyone to go with…”

“Yeah, that’s totally the reason.” Gwen said with a knowing smile.

Merlin rolled his eyes and said goodbye before leaving the chamber and heading down the stairs. The banquet just began, and people were walking in, either was someone looped around their arm or by themselves, all dressed in fancy clothing for this one night of mystery. Merlin stood at the top of the stairs and smiled as he watched people talk to one another, their identities hidden. Scanning the crowd, he instantly saw Arthur’s golden hair. Smiling, he walked down the stairs when someone stopped him.

“Merlin?” The voice questioned.

“Ah, Gwaine.” Merlin said with a smile. “Perfect timing.”

Gwaine’s eyes scanned Merlin’s body with a small smirk. “You look handsome as hell. Whose clothes are those?”

“They would be mine.” A voice interrupted.

Merlin turned and saw Arthur, his mask on and eyes narrowed at Gwaine. Merlin looked at Arthur’s outfit and forgot to breathe for a couple of seconds. 

“Hello, Arthur.” Merlin spoke softly.

Arthur stopped glaring at Gwaine to loop a possessive arm around Merlin’s waist and smiled at the servant. “Hello. You look decent today.”

Merlin frowned at the prattish comment. “Thank you? I think?”

Arthur laughed at that. “It’s a compliment, Merlin, do pay attention… anyways, nice seeing you Gwaine but I must go with Merlin over to the table.”

Merlin just smiled to himself at the lame excuse and simply nodded at Gwaine who winked at him and walked off. Arthur tugged Merlin in the direction of the table positioned by the windows, making it more private.

Arthur stared out the window. “So…”

“So…” Merlin echoed.

Arthur sighed and turned to his manservant. “I’ve been thinking- “

“Oh no, did you hurt yourself?” Merlin joked.

Arthur shook his head with a chuckle. “I almost did. But, I’m… willing to try.”

“Willing to try, what?”

Arthur held his head in frustration. “Us. I’m willing to try… us.”

Merlin cocked an eyebrow. “Why?”

Arthur froze, confusion etched across his face. “What do you mean, why? We discussed being… together, and so I want to give it a chance.”

“I get that, Arthur, but why did you change your mind?” Merlin said softly, his arms crossed across his chest.

Arthur cleared his throat, reaching for a glass of wine on the table. “I can’t lie to you, so mainly because of you and Gwaine… but besides that, I realized how with everything going on, we were losing any relationship that we have ever had… and I would rather die then lose you completely.” Arthur turned and gingerly grasped Merlin’s hand, the other hand balancing his wine. “But I also saw everything we were doing to one another; the jealousy, the manipulation, the selfishness, the running away and coming back, just, everything. We wouldn’t be ‘us’ if it kept going on. So, I stared at everything we’ve accomplished and how the kingdom has grown and now I see, that you were a part of it, and I want you to continue to be a part of it.”

Merlin, whose eyes were becoming wet with tears, smiled and squeezed Arthur’s hand. “Arthur, you’re an idiot, but thankfully after that whole proposal, I want you to be MY idiot.”

Arthur smiled back and returned the squeeze. “You’re not seeing Gwaine anymore, right?”

Merlin shook his head. “No, we had a mutual understanding of everything going on. Now even though we are now ‘together’, I won’t keep you hostage. Go and mingle, I’ll entertain myself.”

Arthur bit his lip. “It is incredibly hard to leave, considering I am dying to kiss you… will you wait for me in my chambers afterwards?”

Merlin smiled and ran his thumb over Arthur’s knuckle. “It’ll be my gift to you, sire.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! Yay! Now I am debating on if I should write another chapter because I love how I ended this yet I have a really cute idea for the ending... thoughts??? Please review as always! I am loving them all ;)

**Author's Note:**

> So that’s all for this chapter! Please comment if you want another chapter in which the tension is resolved and more celebrations occur. Until then, bye!


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